story, short

By her second month of ESL, Carlin’s English was already markedly better than her blonde and red haired classmates. Her first grade teacher adorned her spelling tests with golden stars and fuzzy cats and dogs while she chattered away about pebbles in her sneakers and chicken nuggets for lunch. It’s amazing how quickly children adapt, marveled her parents, and also how easily they forget.

Carlin’s school was an old, cheerful set of brick buildings, joined together with a haphazard-looking skyway. Every afternoon, the Chinese neighborhood mothers would alternate duties in picking up a gaggle of loud, energetic boys and girls toting oversized backpacks and multicolored lunchboxes. The walk back to the brownstone where a number of Chinese families lived was a little under a mile, and cut through one of the wealthiest areas in Montgomery Heights. The sprawling estates with catalogue green lawns and century-old oak trees provided for Carlin and her friends no more than a supply of helicopter seedlings that flew when dropped, and apple green silk worms that hung over their paths. It never occurred to any of them, as they finally arrived at home, that life could possibly be any better or worse then their own. Carlin never thought twice about the bed that she slept on, the mismatched pillowcase and comforter, the mattress, couches, chairs, and lampshades that her father had found and retrieved from the sidewalk in front of their apartment. She never questioned the wax paper in lieu of a tablecloth or the plastic bookcase instead of mahogany. None of it mattered, as long as she got to chase down the fireflies with her friends after dinner.

Everything changed the day Melissa commented on her beige turtleneck, complete with a furry toffee-colored bunny, at recess one day in fifth grade. “Does your sweater hop too?” She had yelled across the monkey bars, before prancing off with her group of Limited-Too attired friends to terrorize the fourth graders at the tire swing. Carlin could see nothing wrong with the clothes she wore, except that they didn’t resemble the pastel colored polos and the same pair of bell bottomed jeans sported by the perky group of best friends who always sat at the front of the class. Her own jeans were brand new, but rolled up at the ankle because her mother fully believed in the concept of growing into your clothing. The bunny sweater was a gift from her aunt in China, where apparently life-like animal clothing designs were all the rage. Even her footgear was subject to persecution. It was almost June, but her mother had insisted that she wear socks with her new sandals in case it got too cold. But as Carlin bounced her ball back into the overflowing metal crate at the end of recess, she heard the same group of girls giggling behind her. “I wonder if she has hideous feet. Why else would someone wear socks with her sandals?”

Tolos

All this traveling is starting to wear down on my energy reserves. Woke up at 6:45 this morning, took my first midterm on a Ferry, and am now im Tolos. Caught up on Greys and Gossip Girl, napped, starting to wish I were going home for the three weeks before Oxford. But I’m trying not to let this current bout of homesickness get the best of me. It is beautiful here, and I’m grateful for cute Gelaterias to steal wireless from.

I have too many blogs/Europe

let me count. Through middle school and high school I stayed pretty loyal to xanga, but since college I’ve had flirtations with blogger, wordpress, livejournal, twitter, and now tumblr, in addition to journals and moleskines and doodles on edges of agendas, its definitely become a problem. In my effort to record and preserve all the moments in life that I want to remember, they have become scattered all across cyberspace >.<

The problem is I haven’t found a single one with all of the features that I like. Blogger has a nice private feature but doesn’t have interesting layouts. tumblr is quick to use and versatile but I’m confused about how to add comments. Wordpress was cleancut at first but is now just frustrating, I think i’m going to have to let that one go. Oh, and I gave up on livejournal a long time ago. I suppose for now I’ve settled on tumblr…

I’m in Europe for the summer. Currently in Naxos, where we are staying in a hotel that directly overlooks the water, essentially perched on a cliff. There is an old french couple in the suite next to mine (all the rooms at this hotel are equipped with living room, full kitchen, and patio/balcony), and everyday they sit on their patio in pajamas, drink wine, and smoke cigarettes. The lady walks around in a shapeless, oversized, black dress and no shoes. They seem to blend into the landscape and the way of life here. slow. calm. as constant as the waves that continually lap against the shore. But I guess I am also quickly acclimating to this way of life. Internet is rare, I haven’t talked on my phone since leaving O'hare, and since I have no cell phone and do not own a watch, I never have any clue what time it is. I have also lost complete track of the day of the week, as days spent sitting on beaches and wading through waters with sand between your toes all seem to blend, with alternating states of consciousness and unconsciousness.

Since being at home

Went to the eye doctor - I’m slightly more blind, again. Went to the dentist - thank God I never needed braces. Got a haircut, during which the lady cutting my hair brought me completely up to speed on her boyfriend, 10 years her senior who drinks too much (mostly beer), as well as all the details on her recent gall bladder removal (5 cuts, not 3). Spent inordinate amounts of time flipping mindlessly through vogue and elle and instyle (UK edition, where the models are wearing less and everything is in pounds) at Borders where I’ve inevitably run into hoards of high school kids studying for their AP exams. They come up and ask me how college is. But how do you really answer that question? I mean, obviously I say stuff like “Oh, college is awesome I’ve had a great semester…and so on and so forth.” What I really want to say is something to the extent of…“college turned everything I thought I believed upside down.” But before I can, they invariably return to their high stacks of AP books, and I go back to my magazines, or the occasional MCAT/GMAT/LSAT/case interview prep book. Ah, I wish someone would have told me to take easy classes freshman year.

You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy
And based on your body language,
And shoddy cursive I’ve been reading
Your style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is
Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
We’re still here
What a beautiful mess, this is
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is “Yes”
Through, timeless words and priceless pictures We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we, tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.

A Beautiful Mess, Jason Mraz

Movies

Just saw The Soloist. I hate when I have high expectations for a movie that just totally falls flat. Is it that hard to make a genuine, inspirational movie about good music?

General message that I came away with: There are tons of screwed up people everywhere, but you shouldn’t force them to change. Essentially nothing progressed from the beginning to the end of the movie, except that the homeless guy moved into an apartment. Disappointed.

Other movies I want to see (which will hopefully be better)

Michael Clayton

Miss Potter

Ghost of Girlfriends Past (can’t help it, I love chick flicks)

Startrek

The Proposal

…will add to this list

where are we? what the hell is going on? the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet, sinking feeling. spin me round again
and rub my eyes, this can’t be happening.
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy
hide and seek.
trains and sewing machines
all those years, they were here first
oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life, hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won’t catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit,
you don’t care a bit

Hide and seek, Imogen Heap