resolves

~3 months into this new life in Boston and I am still constantly reveling in the fact that I am no longer a student. 2012 will certainly be uncharted waters in that respect. I haven’t been diligent in keeping up with writing lately, so definitely have some catching up on thoughts to do. 

Going home for the holidays invariably reverts me back to teenager tendencies of lazing around the house eating mom’s home-cooked goodness interspersed with the occasional argument with the sister about who has stolen whose t-shirt. But now that I’m back, its high time to adult-up and make some plans for the year. Back in college, these plans are more or less pre-packaged and delivered in the form of a class syllabus and graduation requirements. Add in the set of extra-curriculars that need to be attended to and the job/internship applications that need to be filled out and you’ve got yourself a busy busy semester. The working world is different. Even in consulting, where the hourly commitment is substantial and work is challenging, I still have more “free-time” now than I ever did in college. On a typical day I leave work around 7 or 8pm (granted, I’m currently staffed on a “good lifestyle” case in an overall lifestyle emphasized firm, which is in stark contrast to banking) and have…nothing to do. There is no problem set to finish, no exam to study for, no choir rehearsal to attend. On a good day, a visit to the gym, or more regularly an episode on hulu will suffice to be the plan for the evening before I go to bed around midnight.

It sounds great, but sometimes I struggle with the nagging feeling that something is missing, or that I should be doing more. The problem is that my job is unpredictable in the sense there is never a predetermined time to leave work - times have ranged anywhere from 5pm to 10pm, and I’m sure there will be even later nights in my future. And so it is pretty much impossible to plan commitments after work even if I am tempted to do so. The only standing commitments I can make have to be on the weekends, which so far have consisted of a lot of dinner parties and bar nights, and surprisingly, a lot of board game playing. There’s not really any “stress” in my life…which blows my mind because I’ve never ever experienced this before. This current case is a fun retail strategy project and I really enjoy the work. Its not something I get stressed about, at least not to the degree that I stressed about a biochem exam or a job interview. 

Stress comes from the desire for a particular result, and the fear that the result will not be attained. I stressed myself out to sleeplessness in college because I really really did not want to get a C in biochem, and I really really needed a job after graduation. I think the next time I will be stressed to a similar degree is when I apply to med school, which I’ve decided to put off until next year. In the meantime, there is plenty I could and should be doing to make that process as painless as possible when the time rolls around. ie. keeping track of thoughts on why I want to go to medical school after this experience in consulting, keeping in touch with professors, assembling materials I will need, planning casework accordingly, volunteering in a clinical setting somewhere to stay connected with the field, etc.

So this year, I resolve to find an “extra-curricular.” I’d love to join a music group and volunteer at a health clinic and contribute to a non-profit, but realistically I can probably only do one…

Have applied to a few opportunities already, but they all seem rather slow to respond. Will follow up and report back to keep myself accountable!